♪♪
Oh,
that movie was epic!
What did you think,
Charlie?
- I didn't really enjoy it - that much, to be honest.
What, really?
- Okay, okay, look, - to be completely fair,
I did really enjoy the scene
when Biblo went rogue
- and he beat that woman - in the head with the hammer.
- I thought it was artistically - and like, tastefully done.
I thought it was
a well-done sequence.
- That's funny. That was the part - I really didn't like.
- It was just - too violent.
- I think it's just because - he was a leech.
- Hey, by the way, - you want to get some food?
Yeah, I could eat.
[ Smacks lips ]
- Oh, man, I could really go - for some Salty's right now.
- Isn't that like, - cheap fast food or something?
- Have you really never - been to Salty's?
- Dude, you're gonna - love this place.
- I've been coming here - since I was a homunculus.
[ Mouse squeaks ]
- Charlie, this place - doesn't seem very clean,
- There's grease - all over the floor.
- Ah, it's just - part of the charm, man.
Welcome to Salty's!
I'm Simon S. Salty and I
built this very restaurant
with my own two hands!
And together with
my funny mascot friends,
we work hard make... to give you
the most quality... supreme...
to give you that quality
Salty's experience.
Unfortunately,
the United States FDA...
[ Mocking] The FDA...
has deemed my food a "hazard"...
oh, my food...
linked to 15 deaths in
the past four months alone.
Although I am rolling out some
new and improved menu items!
Come on, I'm Italian.
You can try my new
Cucumber Deluxe,
the Super Green Bowl,
and my personal favorite,
Salty's Sourdough Bread Busts.
So come to Salty's
and get your new and improved
menu items todayyyy!
- Ugh, I hate when - fast food restaurants
- do this - healthy food shit.
- First, they took off - a century egg, and now this.
Awesome.
- Oh, it's like - a Chinese egg
- that you bury the dirt - and you dig it up
- and you eat it after - like, 100 days.
- Um, I actually thought - it was pretty good.
- I liked it. - I happen to like it.
- I actually think - the Cucumber Deluxe
looks scrumptious.
You have to get
the Salty Delight burger.
[ Ding! ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
- I'm sorry, I didn't realize - we had customers.
What can I get you?
- Yeah, I'll just get two - Salty Delight Burgers, thanks.
- Ah, sorry, - unfortunately, as of today,
- we don't sell - the Salty Delight anymore.
- I can get you a Salty - Sourdough Bread Bust, though.
What?
- Come on, you can't get rid - of Salty Delight.
- Let me talk to - Salty.
Oh, Salty is actually taking
his iconic 7:00 P.M. nap.
- No, I think I'm going to - speak to him.
Oh, my God!
S-Salty's been m-m-murdered!
- Operator: 9-1-1, - What's your emergency?
- Yeah, I'm at Salty's Restaurant - on Meat Boulevard.
Simon S. Salty
has been murdered!
Uh, yeah, after
some recent budget cuts,
we're no longer in charge
of murder mysteries.
- Another team handles that now. - They'll be on their way shortly.
Oh, okay. Thank you.
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
- Hey, Charlie, the owner of - the famous Salty's restaurant
was just brutally murdered,
- and I need you and Pim - to figure out who did it.
Thank you. Bye.
Uhh. Uh.
- It looks like we're technically - in charge of solving this.
I guess that means we're
detectives now, Charlie.
- Did you really bring that - with you into the movie theater?
- Hmm, - first things first,
- how many exits - does this place have, Ketchup?
Just the front entrance.
- Then that means the killer is - still here in the restaurant.
- Ketchup, who else was in - the restaurant when we came in?
Just me, you guys,
and all the other mascots.
What other mascots?
[ Thunder rolls ]
Alright, so we have Mustard,
Salt, Pepper, Crazy Cup,
the Fun Twins,
and me, Ketchup, hee-hee.
- I think - that's everyone.
And don't forget
about me, Grease.
I could have done it.
Um... alright,
well, did you do it?
I mean, no,
but I totally could have.
Cool, anyways.
- As much as I love - all you epic mascots,
somebody here definitely
murdered Simon S. Salty.
- We should go around, get - everyone's side of the story,
then just see
what sticks out.
- And none of your are leaving - until we solve this!
[ Thunder claps ]
- You didn't need to - raise your voice, man.
Alright, Ketchup.
- What was your relationship - like with Salty?
Well, lately we have been
having arguments
- about the new - healthy menu.
- I just knew it was going - to cause problems
for the restaurant.
- Sounds like you were - quite angry at Salty, then.
Yes, but I would never stab
my friend in the back.
[ Crying ]
He was my damn godfather
to my children.
- Oh, don't cry, - Mr. Ketchup.
We'll solve
this mystery soon.
Thank you, Pim.
- Alright, I'm not - screwing around here.
You two kill Salty,
or what?
- We were spending all day - draining the rotten soda
- from the machine with - our soda-draining device
- and refilling it with - fresh, soapy soda.
Yes, it's true.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
You guys spent all day
doing that?
Well, not all day.
- We did have - a little break
to have a little kiss
in the closet.
[ Giggling ]
[ Kissing ]
Alright. Noted.
- That's just straight-up - beautiful, by the way.
- Look, I couldn't have - killed salty.
I spent all day cleaning
a stain off my costume.
Pim: Hmm.
A stain of what?
- My own doo-doo feces, - okay?
- For your information, I happen - to have a serious drug problem
- which causes me to squirt - out my ass into my costume.
- And the worst part of all - is this thing
- takes 20 minutes - to take off.
Oh, fair enough.
I'm genuinely sorry.
That sounds terrible.
Oh, I wish I could help,
but I was in here all day,
- just doing - my routine stock check.
- Okay, yeah, - that actually checks out.
- Oh, alright, - fine!
- You pushed me hard enough, - and now I'm forced to admit it!
Yes, Salty and I were
having a steamy affair.
What of it?
- The last time - I saw him,
- I was breaking up with him - in his office
as he was laying down to take
his iconic 7:00 P.M. nap.
I just couldn't keep it
going on any longer.
He was smothering
me too much.
- Alright, - that's a bombshell.
- Could you expand - on that a little bit more?
- I'd never do anything - to hurt him,
- if that's what - you're getting at.
- Oh, murder is - a terrible thing.
- Just the thought of it makes me - ever so like light-headed!
Ohh!
Can't a poor mustard like me
ever have a little fun?
- Yeah, - everyone likes fun.
- You like to - have fun, too?
- I mean, you know, - you're asking about me?
I mean, yeah,
I like fun. Yeah.
- Oh, yeah? - [ Laughs ]
I already said yes.
- Alright, Charlie, - you all done here?
- I think we just have one - last interview left.
Yeah, yeah.
We're all done here.
[ Chittering ]
- Uh, we can have fun - on the jungle gym
- after you tell me what - you two were doing
- at the time - of the murder.
[ Chittering ]
- Well, that's - a nice story and all,
but it doesn't really
answer my question.
- Pim, how did you - understand any of that?
What? Ow!
[ Chittering ]
This is tough.
- I really feel like any of - these rotten mascots
could have done it.
- What do you think, - Pim?
- I... I don't know. - Sorry.
- I can't even - think properly right now.
- My arm is stinging - so bad
- from whatever those - Fun Twins spat on me.
- Oh, it's just a little - bit of playful spit, Pim.
Just having fun.
- Ahh, Salty must have some - kind of cream or ointment
around here.
- It did seem odd that Mustard - was having an affair with Salty,
- but also that cup thing has got - a bad energy about him, man.
Just a bad vibe.
Wait a second.
What room is this?
S-S-Secret room!
Ohh!
Greetings.
- Wait, you're - the century egg.
- They took you off - the menu, right?
Yes, I was delicious,
but the public wasn't ready
for it, so I sold terribly,
and Salty took me off
his damn menu
and locked me away down here.
And now you know
my cool fucking back story.
That is pretty cool.
- Well, look, - Salty was murdered,
- and we're trying to - figure out who did it.
I knew this day would come.
He's made a lot of
mascot enemies over the years.
Terrible shame.
- Do you have any information - that might help us out, Mr. Egg?
Ah, yes, well,
funny you say.
I do happen to film everything
that happens in Salty's office
- on my secret - security camera.
- But you wouldn't be interested - in anything like that.
- No, no, no, - we definitely are.
Bleh.
I can feel the cold hand
of death taking me away.
You may have my tape
on the condition
you bury me in the beautiful
Chinese Xiang Pine Forest,
my hometown.
Oh, yeah, we will definitely go
to China to bury you, man.
Very well.
It's over there,
in that drawer.
[ Coughs, groans ]
Thank you, Egg.
- Oh, no, no, no. - Not that one. Other drawer.
Oh. I'm sorry.
Listen up, everyone. We have it
all right here on tape.
Now we can see for ourselves
what actually happened.
Alright. Rewind it.
I knew it! It was Ketchup
the entire time.
Oh, fine, it was me.
- Charlie, you like - our menu, right?
Aren't you sick of seeing
- all your favorite - fast food restaurants
- becoming healthy - and cleaning up their image?
Fast food should be greasy
and make your heart palpitate!
- Yeah, but I never break - the sixth commandment, dude.
Wait a second.
I think there's more.
- What? So Salt and Pepper - did it?
- Fine. Fine! - We did it!
- We drained - all of his blood
because he didn't approve of us
kissing on the job.
- Alright, - I guess that settles it.
Wait a second.
I think... it's still going.
Alright. You got me.
- How many fucking people - killed this guy?
We just need to see
who killed him first.
It seemed easier to kill him
than to break his heart.
- Alright, I don't think we're - gonna get any more surprises,
so I guess you
really did do it.
Wait a second,
there's a bit more footage left!
Wait, wait, wait!
Play it from there.
My final burger!
After today, I'm going to
start eating healthy.
Oh, my heart! Ohh!
- So I guess that means - they're all innocent.
- Salty technically died - from a heart attack.
- I mean, all of these characters - are definitely psychopaths,
- but I guess - none of them killed them.
That means we legally
can all go free.
Yay!
- I don't think - it means that, I'm just...
[ Cheering ]
[ Laughing, screaming ]
Alright, next time
I'm picking the food.
[ Both laugh ]
[ Sirens wail ]
♪♪
- Did we have to come all the way - to China to do this?
It's what the egg wanted,
Alan.
- You know what's - messed up?
- He probably tastes even better - right now that he did before.
- Yeah, - what do they taste like?
- I've never tried - a century egg before.
Really?
Okay, you have to try it
at least once.