[ Spooky music plays ]
How would you define horror?
If today's people put down
their newfangled gizmos
and gadgets for a brief moment,
- they probably start rambling on - about nonsense
like wars, plagues,
and terrorist attacks.
- What they would neglect - to mention
are the actual horrors
of reality,
- like witches, ghouls, - and alien saucers.
However, after tonight,
- you can add something else - to that list...
the primal, disturbing horror
of the unknown.
♪♪
[ Bird cawing ]
♪♪
- Charlie, what are you - supposed to be?
- [ Sighs ] He doesn't want - to dress up as anything.
- Listen, I-I've seen - way too many people
- get their careers ruined over - all the Halloween costumes,
I'm not doing it.
- Why don't you just - put on some face paint
- and be a zombie - or something?
- Dude, face paint gets - people in way more trouble
than anything else.
- I mean, I have no idea - what's going to be
offensive in 10 years.
Oh, come on, Charlie,
- where's your - Halloween spirit?
When you put on a costume,
you can be anything!
Pim, that's insane.
Could regular Pim be
- the sharpest gunslinger - in the West?
- You're not gonna - hit that, man.
- You need to pick those up - when you're done.
- Don't leave them all over - the floor.
- I'm like 100% positive. - you're not gonna hit that.
Okay, you actually hit it.
Aah!
What the fuck, Pim?
- I thought - this was safe, Alan.
- I really didn't know - it could do that.
- It's fine. Just no more guns - inside, okay?
- We're done with - the gun stuff,
- Everyone, - I have some bad news.
Halloween is canceled.
All: Aw!
Yep, we're all out of
firewood,
- and it's just - not the same
- without a big Halloween - fire pit.
If only someone could
wrangle up some firewood.
[ Sighs ] Oh, well.
- Oh, I could - wrangle up some firewood.
Oh, Pim, that's wonderful!
Follow me. I'll show you
where the good stuff is.
- All right. - Uh, see those woods over there?
Yeah.
and pick some crap
off the floor and...
- -Oh, okay. - -What?
- Oh, I was just saying - okay.
- Oh, yeah, it's all good. - It's all good.
- Uh, but anyway, yeah, - it's usually a little bit sparse
this time of year,
but if you look hard enough,
- you should be able - to find something.
[ Chuckles ]
- I should be able - to do that.
Wait!
One more thing.
Whatever you do,
don't go beyond
the rickety bridge.
Why not?
Hmm? Huh?
Because...
you'll get lost!
[ Ominous music plays ]
[ Peppy music plays ]
- ♪ Picking up twigs, - picking up twigs ♪
- ♪ I like, I like - picking up twigs ♪
♪ One twig, two twig,
three twig, four ♪
- ♪ I like twigs, - and I want some more ♪
[ Chirping tune ]
Oh, thank you, Mr. Bird.
Mwah!
- Hmm. - These twigs are nice and all,
but I wish I had something
with a bit more girth.
Oh, that's more like it!
Hmm.
What did the boss say
about that rickety bridge again?
Don't go beyond
the rickety bridge.
You'll get lost!
[ Coughs ]
- The boss did say not to go - beyond the rickety bridge,
- but all the good firewood - is there.
Hmm. This truly is
a cowboy's dilemma.
If I just mark the trees
like a true pioneer,
I'll be able to find
my way back, no problem.
[ Hocks loogie ]
Oh, whoops.
[ Ominous music plays ]
♪♪
Well, a cowboy's gotta do
what a cowboy's gotta do.
♪♪
[ Twig snaps ]
[ Rustling ]
- Uh, all right, that's about - all I can carry.
- I should probably get back - to the office anyway.
It's getting late.
Huh? [ Gasps ]
[ Thunder rumbles ]
Ah, what the...
Ah, no, no, no, no! No!
Ah! [ Panting ]
♪♪
Oh, fudge.
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Screams ]
Oh! Oh! Ooh! Ah!
[ Screams ]
♪♪
[ Gasping ]
♪♪
[ Panting ]
♪♪
[ Exhales ]
[ Thunder rumbles ]
[ Building creaking ]
[ Whimpers ]
I-I'll just stay here
till the rain dies down.
Everything...
Everything's gonna be fine.
This place isn't so bad.
- In fact, I could see myself - settling down here.
- Yeah, right there is where - my exotic wife will sit
and knit me beautiful quilts.
Hello, wifey!
- Hello, Pim. - I do love you.
And that's where the younglings
will sit and go wild with fun.
Hello, my babies!
Hello, Daddy Pim!
And now there is where I'll
toil away on my lovely farm.
Hello, farmy!
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Panting ]
♪♪
[ Gasping and grunting ]
What do I do?
- Run, Daddy Pim! - Run, Daddy Pim!
Run, Daddy Pim!
- You'll never escape. - You're gonna die here, Pim.
Aghhhhh!
[ Gasps and whimpers ]
[ Panting and grunting ]
[ Gasps and screams ]
[ Grunting ]
Oof! [ Groans ]
♪♪
[ Music calms ]
♪♪
[ Screeches ]
♪♪
[ Screeches ]
[ Screams ]
[ Panting ]
Aaah!
[ Whimpering ]
[ Screeching in distance ]
♪♪
[ Screams ]
[ Screeches ]
[ Screams ]
[ Indistinct talking ]
[ Screeches ]
Whoa, is that
fuckin' blackface, dude?
- No, no, no, - this isn't blackface,
I'm an actual demon.
Bro, please tell me
that's not blackface.
- -Not cool, man. - -No, no, no, no.
- You don't understand. - I'm literally a forest demon
- from across the bridge. - This isn't a costume.
Get the fuck out, man!
[ Crowd murmuring ]
[ Crowd shouting and cheering ]
- See, that's exactly the why - I don't dress up for Halloween,
- right there, - that's the reason.
[ Glass shatters,
[ shouting continues ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Glass shatters ]
Yeah, and thanks for wrangling
up that firewood, buddy.
Halloween is saved!
[ Shouting and glass shattering
[ continues ]
[ Smoke alarm beeping ]
[ Muffled shouting ]
[ Spooky music plays ]
So, my friends,
what did we learn tonight?
The only thing more horrifying
than the unknown up there
is the unknown in here.
- And if you knew what went on - in here,
you'd freak out.
I guess I'm just a bit
more demented than most.
- Hey, buddy, you can't be hanging - around here watching cartoons.
- We've been getting complaints - all night.
You need to leave.
What law am I breaking?
That'll be Title 18,
Chapter 55, Section 55.06...
- loitering and prowling - at night.
- It's a third-degree - misdemeanor.
Okay, I-I didn't know.
I...
♪♪
[ Coughs ]
Well, excuse me.
[ Farts ]
♪♪
Man: Whooooooo!
[ Laughs evilly ]
♪♪
[ Screaming ]
♪♪